• The Writer


    Hello! My name is Laura, welcome to my blog! I write weird stories, collect dragon plushies and stay up too late with my nose in a book. I am a wife, mom and child saved by grace. My hope is that you find encouragement here or at least a smile or too.
    God bless!

  • “Now go, write it before them in a table, and note it in a book that it may be for the time to come forever and ever.”
    ~Isaiah 30:8.

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    November 2017
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  • Quotes

    We have come from God, and inevitably the myths woven by us, though they contain error, will also reflect a splintered fragment of the true light, the eternal truth that is with God. Indeed only by myth-making, only by becoming 'sub-creator' and inventing stories, can Man aspire to the state of perfection that he knew before the Fall. Our myths may be misguided, but they steer however shakily towards the true harbour, while materialistic 'progress' leads only to a yawning abyss and the Iron Crown of the power of evil.
    ~J.R.R. Tolkien

    "The only just literary critic," he concluded, "is Christ, who admires more than does any man the gifts He Himself has bestowed."
    ~J.R.R. Tolkien

    “Fantasy is escapist, and that is its glory. If a soldier is imprisioned by the enemy, don't we consider it his duty to escape?. . .If we value the freedom of mind and soul, if we're partisans of liberty, then it's our plain duty to escape, and to take as many people with us as we can!”
    ~J.R.R. Tolkien

    "Writers who see by the light of their Christian faith will have, in these times, the sharpest eye for the grotesque, for the perverse, and for the unacceptable. To the hard of hearing you shout, and for the almost-blind you draw large and startling figures."
    ~Flannery O'Connor

    You write to communicate to the hearts and minds of others what’s burning inside you. And we edit to let the fire show through the smoke.
    ~Arthur Polotnik

    Words - so innocent and powerless as they are, as standing in a dictionary, how potent for good and evil they become in the hands of one who knows how to combine them.
    ~Nathaniel Hawthorne

    "There are forms of insanity that condemn people to hear voices against their will, but as writers we invite ourselves to hear voices without relinquishing our hold on reality or our right to control."
    ~Writing Fiction by Janet Burroway

    Christians have sometimes been suspicious of stories, because they really can influence you. If you read the Twilight novels once a month for a year, I think you'd be a different human afterward—and not a sparkly one.
    ~Nate Wilson

…On and On.

Adventure always comes when we’re not looking for it.  We’re just living our lives when suddenly someone or something comes along and completely changes our entire world, and from that moment on nothing is ever the same.  You’re pulled out of your quiet comfortable life and thrown onto some crazy road, unprepared and without a pocket handkerchief.

Was I thinking a year ago that at this time that I was going to be getting married in three weeks?  No way!  Was I even thinking last summer that I would be anywhere near close to getting married within the next year?  Nope. Not only was I not expecting to be getting married so soon, but I never thought I’d be leaving the area I’ve spent my entire life in and moving 2,000 miles away from everything I’ve ever really known.  Yes….The dwarves arrived while I was quietly eating supper, took me as their burglar, and pulled me with them to go steal back their gold from a dragon….and like Biblo, (the real hero of that story), part of me is thinking, “What just happened?”

I find it rather ironic actually.  For so long I had been praying for my future husband, asking God to use me, to take me on an adventure and make me His hero.  When I fell in love with Daniel, I started praying harder, asking for God’s best, for His timing and to make something happen if it was meant to be.  And by golly, He made something happen and what’s even more of a surprise, His timing has made things happen a whole lot faster than I ever dared hope!  My brain just having a hard time keeping up… 😛

So here I am, on an unexpected journey, heading off to the unfamiliar and leaving the known behind me.  But the great part about it is, it IS an adventure and one I am going to get to share it with my husband, my best friend.  Together and with God’s help we’ll take this road, pass through the mountains, the valleys, and the dangers of the dark wood, fighting side by side when enemies surround us and try to tear us apart.  I know with God on our side, standing as the third party in this adventure and guiding us along the way, there is no beast so terrible, or creator so foul that could stand in our way.

So here I go.  Stepping out onto the road, keeping my feet, but being swept off all the same.

 

"I'm going on an adventure!"

“I’m going on an adventure!”

 

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Farewell Dreams

Dreams.  We all have them and we all tend to cling to them as if they are our only life source.  I know I did.

Dreams are wonderful.  That fanciful daydream, longing, secret wish or hopeful thought, stirring in us an indescribable, uncomprehending desire to act on them and make them more than dreams, but realities.  Dreams such as…

Dreams of being successful.

Dreams of finding love, marrying.

Dreams of a family.

Dreams of being more.

Dreams of achieving all your higher goals.

And so many others.

Any of those dreams sound familiar?  Do they prick a cord in your heart, stirring up that same wishful fantasy they stir in mine?

Dreams are so precious aren’t they?  They’re apart of us, woven into who we are and every fiber of our being.  That’s why it’s so hard to let them go.  Yes, let them go.

2012 is drawing to a close, and as 2013 approaches, I think back over the past year and everything God has brought me through.  He has revealed so much to me over the past twelve months, taught me so much.  He has shown me how to be His hero, not just how to write about them, but how to be one.  He’s taught me a deeper meaning of love, how it endures, holds fast, never gives up and never lets go.  And, how to let go of my dreams.  The last was the hardest lesson to lean, one that brought many long nights and tear-filled prayers.

I’ve known for a long time God was calling me to relinquish my dreams to Him.  I thought I had, but no, I was still holding tight to them, my knuckles turning white with the strain.  It was tormenting.  Yes, tormenting.  Some of you reading this will understand, and really, this post is for you.  My dreams were beautiful, shaped through out the years of my life, from my child’s mind to now, and God wanted them.

This year was more of a struggle for me regarding letting my dreams go than any other year before, and yet, it was so wonderful at the same time.  The way God began revealing Himself to me, pulling my heart ever closer to His.  It hurt, it was hard, but it was beautiful.

It seems so many times, we pray and ask God to change us, to take control of every aspect of our lives, but we really don’t know what we’re asking for.  Complete and utter surrender, of, EVERYTHING.  Dreams included.  It’s funny, when we surrender our lives, we list things like money, job, school, family, heath, choices etc, things we can see, feel and touch, but we don’t consider our dreams as part of that list.  Yet, the reality is, our dreams are something God desires above the physical.  Why?  Because He has dreams for us too, and when we let ours go, He can give us His.  When we say goodbye to our dreams, we say hello to the wonderful things God has in store.

I never imagined it would turn out like this.  Never in my wildest dreams.  When I thought of letting my dream go, I thought I was giving them up.  In a way I was, I was emotionally giving up what I desired because I wanted God’s best, and if my dreams were getting in the way of that, then they were something I needed to sacrifice.  So, one night, I tearfully, even reluctantly, brought those dreams to the alter, laid them there, and let them go.  I asked God to make His dreams my dreams, and I gave Him the desires of my heart.   It was the hardest thing I have ever done, but I did it.

Did I feel relieved after?  Yes and no.   Yes, because I knew God would take care of those dreams, and do what was best for me and those dreams.  He was in control now.  No, because my human mind could not comprehend what I had just done.  I had let everything go, I had let my chance at those dreams go…but had I really?  A few weeks after that night, an amazing thing happened.  God have those dreams back to me, and it was wonderful.  (Eventually, I will tell you about those dreams, when the time is right.)

No one knows the desires of our hearts better than our Father in Heaven, and no one wishes to grant them more than He does.  I think too often we let what we want, what we want to hold on to get in the way of that.  We have to completely surrender those desires to Him before He can give them to us.  We have to be willing to let Him have our lives in their entirety if we want the blessings He has in store for those who trust in Him.

From someone who has hurt, struggled, bleed, and cried herself to sleep holding on to her dreams for dear life, because she thought if she let them go, she would lose them forever, let me tell you, God is wonderful.  He will not take your dreams and cast them aside after you place them into His hands.  Rather, He will lovingly take them, and create a more beautiful reality with them, then you could ever imagine.

Dreamer, don’t give up.  Letting them go is not the end, it is merely the beginning.

Rediscover (day 38): My ways are not your ways.

Photo of the Book of Isaiah page of the Bible

Image via Wikipedia

Seek ye the LORD while he may be found, call ye upon him while he is near:
Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts: and let him return unto the LORD, and he will have mercy upon him; and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon.
For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD.
For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.
For as the rain cometh down, and the snow from heaven, and returneth not thither, but watereth the earth, and maketh it bring forth and bud, that it may give seed to the sower, and bread to the eater:
So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it.  ~Isaiah 55:6-11

Coming into Rediscover, I had expectations of what I was going to get out of it.  I expected spiritual feelings of insight and God’s overwhelming presence.   I even went so far as to guess how He was going to change me and what He was going to reveal to me.  But it didn’t happen the way I thought it would, and as a result, I began to feel lost and discouraged.

I forgot that God’s ways are not my ways.

I had been looking for a call to action, a colossal size spiritual reawakening within my spirit.  I wanted to feel the change, I wanted it to be amazing!   But I missed something…

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD.”

God had a different idea, a different and better plan then my human expectations.

As I was pouring out my sorrows to God about how I felt, as if I was doing this whole thing wrong.  How I felt so lost and unchanged, it finally hit me. I wanted action, amazing change, feelings, but it’s not about the feelings, and at the heart of it all, it wasn’t about the change.  Rediscover was about putting aside distractions and drawing closer to God. 

It was about letting go of everything, being still in His presence, and trusting Him completely.

I had forgotten to be still.  I forgotten it was FOR HIM I had made the choice to do this, NOT for me.  I had made my thoughts and ways higher than His.

It took nearly forty days to finally get this through my thick head, but it’s there now, I see, I understand.

So Father, what happens in the remaining two days of Rediscover, is up to You.   No more expectations.  You’re calling the shots.  I will be still and rest in Your resents, give You my everything, and let You lead.

For as the rain cometh down, and the snow from heaven, and returneth not thither, but watereth the earth, and maketh it bring forth and bud, that it may give seed to the sower, and bread to the eater:
So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it.”

How God Changed My Heart

“I hate Heart of Hope.  When this draft is done I don’t care if I never lay eyes on it again.  I am so sick of it I don’t even care if it ever gets published.  I just hate it.  God help me.”- Journal entry 4/12/10

I wrote that.  I meant every word.  I believe “hate” is a very strong word, and it’s not one that I use lightly.  Not only was this my attitude, I had also been wordlessly hating it in my heart for some time. 

It’s not any good.

What was I thinking when I wrote this?

Whose idea was this story anyway?  It stinks!

I’m no good.  Why did I ever think I could write? 

Wow, this thing just shouts “FIRST BOOK!”

What a mess. 

These thoughts and many more were my constant companions as I wrote, rewrote and read over.  I dreaded other people reading it, afraid that they too would see just how horrible it was.  I dreaded reading through it myself.  How was I to get through a book I despised?  How could I even consider sending to a publisher?  That was crazy!  Who would want it?  I went on mopping about it for months, silently disgusted with the whole thing.  Then that still small voice whispered;

You were learning.

You were following My Call.

It was My idea.  Do My ideas stink?

Yes, it is your first book, but it’s beautiful.  It’s from your heart.  It’s from Me.

You’re a mess, but I never gave up on you.

Oh dear Father.  What had I done?  He had given me the story, placed it on my heart, called me to be His writer to tell the world of the hope He gives us.  What had I done?

 Despised. 

Despised because it was my story and I had written it. 

But I had it all wrong. 

It wasn’t my story, not one word.  Hadn’t I given it to God a hundred times?  Hadn’t I said in prayer over and over again, “This is Yours Father, write through me.  I don’t have the words, only You do.”

But I had forgotten. 

Forgotten my promise. 

Forgotten Heart of Hope didn’t belong to me.

He woke me up.  Broke my discontent attitude apart and turned it around. 

Now, I’ve made my peace with Heart of Hope.  I still have to battle my human mind and thoughts whenever I look it and read it, but I’m on the right path.  The story is so much more than just my first book, it’s more than an allegory about a Spiritual journey, it’s a story that God gave me.  A story He used to teach me so much.  To trust Him, believe in Him, give Him everything and let Him have it all. 

Thank you Father for Heart of Hope.  Through it, You have changed my life.

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