The week was going so well. I had my first ultrasound and saw my baby and heard his/her heart beat. I had plans with my mother-in-law to go maternity cloths shopping and pick out things like counter tops and ceiling fans for our remodel. My husband and I were going to see Big Hero 6… but life is tricky and things don’t always go as planned.
It started Tuesday (November 4th), my left leg started cramping. I didn’t think much of it. The weather was cold and my left leg tends to cramp in cold weather. By Wednesday evening it felt like I had pulled a muscle in my upper leg. Okay, pulled muscle, no big deal. Thursday it hurt, but that was all. Friday I woke and it was killing me, but as I walked and moved around it got better so I didn’t cancel my shopping plans with my mother-in-law. A two hour car ride into the city and a dressing room visit later told a different story.
The pain was worse and my leg was swollen to twice it’s size and turning purple.
In the emergency room I was given the news… I had two blood clots. All day, through the pain and the freaky reality of my purple swollen leg I was able to stay calm, but there, laying in a bed in the emergency room, unable to walk or move my leg, my hormone heightened emotions got the better of me and I lost it. Because I’m pregnant I can’t take blood thinners by pills, I have to take the shots, (and those of you who know me know how much I just “love” shots aka, I. Hate. Them.) And I get to do it for the next six months…
After the diagnosis I was transferred by ambulance to the high risk pregnancy ward at a hospital in Oklahoma City. On the way over I wanted to ask God why, but part of me thought it was pointless. He had His reasons, I just needed to trust. The baby was fine, I was so thankful for that. Over and over the words of the Lord’s Prayer kept repeating in my head. “The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want…” (Psalms 23) And “He will never leave me nor forsake me…” (Deuteronomy 31:6) Thankfully I only had to stay the night at the hospital and was released the next morning. (Thank you to everyone who was praying for me.)
Now, two weeks later, my leg is getting better, my mom showed me a trick that makes giving myself shots bearable and baby is still fine. Even though this was something I would rather not have experienced I just keep reminding myself that baby is fine, and it had nothing to do with baby. Yes I have to give myself shots for the next six months, but baby is fine.
It’s actually a bit of a miracle we caught it when and how we did. We were suppose to have been done remodeling by now and moved, but between unforeseen old house problems (that took forever to fix) and crazy uncooperative weather we’re still remodeling. The maim reason my mother-in-law and I were going to the city to shop was because the boys needed more lumber and insulation. If we hadn’t been at this particular stage in the remodel, at this particular time, I would have never been in a car for two hours then walking around for several more. My husband pointed out to me that my leg probably wouldn’t have swollen the way it did other wise, (and I wouldn’t have gone to the emergency room with what felt like a pulled muscle). If we had already finished and moved I would have stayed off my feet because my leg hurt and most likely would not have found the clot(s) until it was already in my lungs.
The Lord works in mysterious ways, but whatever happens, “He knows the plans He has for you, plans not to harm you, but to give you a future and a hope.” (Jeremiah 29:11)
Today, on my Birthday, I am thankful the clots were in my leg when we found them, I am celebrating the life of the little one inside me and rejoicing in the hope I have been given through Jesus Christ my Lord. Yes I was scared and pitied myself, but “His ways are not our ways,” (Isaiah 55:8) and whether this is part of the Refiner’s Fire or just a result of a blood condition I inherited from my Grandfather (or even both), I know it’s all in His hands and He will see me through.
P.S. Thank you so much to all of you who prayed and are praying for me. Your prayers have very much been felt.
P.P.S. And this kind of killed my NaNo. I will not be finishing. 😛