• The Writer

    Hello! My name is Laura, welcome to my blog! I write weird stories, collect dragon plushies and stay up too late with my nose in a book. I am a wife, mom and child saved by grace. My hope is that you find encouragement here or at least a smile or too.
    God bless!

  • “Now go, write it before them in a table, and note it in a book that it may be for the time to come forever and ever.”
    ~Isaiah 30:8.

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    February 2012
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  • Quotes

    We have come from God, and inevitably the myths woven by us, though they contain error, will also reflect a splintered fragment of the true light, the eternal truth that is with God. Indeed only by myth-making, only by becoming 'sub-creator' and inventing stories, can Man aspire to the state of perfection that he knew before the Fall. Our myths may be misguided, but they steer however shakily towards the true harbour, while materialistic 'progress' leads only to a yawning abyss and the Iron Crown of the power of evil.
    ~J.R.R. Tolkien

    "The only just literary critic," he concluded, "is Christ, who admires more than does any man the gifts He Himself has bestowed."
    ~J.R.R. Tolkien

    “Fantasy is escapist, and that is its glory. If a soldier is imprisioned by the enemy, don't we consider it his duty to escape?. . .If we value the freedom of mind and soul, if we're partisans of liberty, then it's our plain duty to escape, and to take as many people with us as we can!”
    ~J.R.R. Tolkien

    "Writers who see by the light of their Christian faith will have, in these times, the sharpest eye for the grotesque, for the perverse, and for the unacceptable. To the hard of hearing you shout, and for the almost-blind you draw large and startling figures."
    ~Flannery O'Connor

    You write to communicate to the hearts and minds of others what’s burning inside you. And we edit to let the fire show through the smoke.
    ~Arthur Polotnik

    Words - so innocent and powerless as they are, as standing in a dictionary, how potent for good and evil they become in the hands of one who knows how to combine them.
    ~Nathaniel Hawthorne

    "There are forms of insanity that condemn people to hear voices against their will, but as writers we invite ourselves to hear voices without relinquishing our hold on reality or our right to control."
    ~Writing Fiction by Janet Burroway

    Christians have sometimes been suspicious of stories, because they really can influence you. If you read the Twilight novels once a month for a year, I think you'd be a different human afterward—and not a sparkly one.
    ~Nate Wilson

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Editing: Creating Details

Precise and unexpected details, every story needs them, but when you’re writing a rough draft you’re not really thinking about details.  You’re just trying to get this story down on paper before it escapes from your imagination.  Details are something you look at when editing. Precise and unexpected details pull a reader into a story.  They don’t interrupt what’s going on, rather add to it.

For example:

Suddenly I heard something squeak.  My heart began to pound in my ears.  Someone said, “Don’t turn around.

The words “Suddenly”, “something”, “began” and “someone” pull you out of the story.  Here’s a re-write using precise and unexpected details.

A floor board squeaked behind me.  I stopped, the beating of my heart loud in my ears.  A voice whispered, “Don’t turn around.”

Words such as “floor board”, “loud” “whispered”, are much more precise.   

I’m still learning how to create these kind of details.  I’m finding it’s a lot harder than it sounds, but a must for a good story.

Here are two clips from Choices.  One is from the rough draft where I wasn’t concerned with details.  The other is from draft II where I tried to concentrate on giving those precise and unexpected details that bring a story world to life.

Rough Draft

I set off into the trees.  It was so quiet, almost unnerving.  I had been in forests before, but this one felt different.  Older somehow, as if it had seen centuries pass it by and held countless secrets of years long gone.  Even the light felt different.  Greener, almost magical.  I stopped, listening, feeling the air around me. The forest spread out into the distance; huge, foreboding, and mysterious, where was I?  A thick carpet of moss stretched under my feet and away into the trees.  Sunlight filtered down through the openings in the twisted, spider webbed branches above me.  This place, though surrounded by great trunks, felt like some vast hall created by nature.

Draft II

Taking a deep breath I set off into the trees.  The forest spread out into the distance, massive tree trunks standing as centennials, guarding whatever lurked in the shadows.  I couldn’t hear a sound.  Not a bird, or the rustle of leaves.  The trees looming over my head leaned it towards me, shutting out the sun.  A little light filtered in through the branches, rays of daylight illuminating patches of the forest floor.  Leaves lay thick on the ground, piled among the trees and beds of ferns.  They were all that was left of countless autumns and forgotten years hidden with the shadow of the woods.  The air felt cool on my exposed skin, it smelled of damp earth and decaying vegetation.  I hugged myself and shivered.  Maybe I wanted my sweatshirt on.

Precise and unexpected details can also be paired with “Show don’t Tell”.  Instead of telling the read the forest was old, show them the forest is old with precise details like piles of undisturbed leaves, thick blankets of moss, knotted tree limbs and rotting logs.

It’s a lot of patient typing, but worth it in the end.

Leave a comment


  1. Daniel

     /  February 25, 2012

    as I know you are aware of at this moment, I am rather hyper, and right now my only reaction is: @_@

    Which is a good reaction. VERY GOOD POST. 😀

  2. Pippin

     /  February 25, 2012

    Wow. That rewrite was so poetic… well done. 🙂

    I like how simple you made this concept and your use of comparison. Thanks for posting!

    • storygirl308

       /  February 26, 2012

      Thank you.
      I wanted it to be longer and explain more, but after I wrote it I didn’t think I really needed to add more. I figured if someone had a question and wanted to know more they could just comment.
      Glad you liked it. 🙂

  3. godsgirl95

     /  February 26, 2012

    Ah, Choices! *hugs Choices* I like that re-write. Hmm…I really love “Sunlight filtered down through the openings in the twisted, spider webbed branches above me.” from the first draft. Something about the ‘spide webbed’ part just rolls off the tongue so well. I do miss that in the re-write. But I LOVE the descriptions in the second one. Very clear picture painted in my head 🙂 Great job as always, sis.

    • storygirl308

       /  February 26, 2012

      Now that you mention it, I did really like that line… *considers how she can put it back in*


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